


An Exemplary Gay Couple

by raspberry_brownie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Family, Fluff, M/M, Marvel Universe, No Spoilers, Peter is their son, and together, peter is like 10 years old, stephen strange knitting, they're just happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raspberry_brownie/pseuds/raspberry_brownie
Summary: Peter's got to do a project for school and his dads are always there to help him.Or traumatize this poor, little kid. In the best way possible.





	An Exemplary Gay Couple

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, so I hope this will be possible (and pleasurable) to read, enjoy pure happiness :D

“Dads, I gotta do a project for school until the end of this month!” Peter Parker yelled, as he entered home and walked into the living room. He knew this is a place where his parents spend almost all the time together.  

The whole living room was rather modern and minimalistic. The newest home theater system, a fireplace, a really big TV occupying half of the wall, glass coffee tables and shelves on which flowers (mostly white orchids) were standing. Flowerpots were obviously equipped in automatic dispensers with water, because no one had a green thumb in this house. Living organisms don’t often go hand in hand with an excess of magic in the air, so their coexisting was a miracle. 

They were looking like an exemplary gay couple – Stephen sitting on the white, angular couch, while Tony was comfortable on husband’s knees, leaning on his chest, very catlike, trying to steal a small kiss from his husband. Strange would swear, he sometimes felt not like a lover, but an enormous, taller, humanoid pillow, so he pretended like he was offended by being used. But he wasn’t. This charming love scene needed only one thing – “Love Is In The Air” playing in the background.

Meanwhile, Doc was trying to learn how to knit without using any magic. Fucking board games. He was cheating while playing Monopoly and had hoped no one’s gonna find out, but surprise! even hypnosis didn’t stop them and now they’re calling him _a cheater_. For his family’s satisfaction he must knit two _really warm_ scarves – the red one with spiders for Peter and the pink with hearts for Tony. Damn it. He was secretly planning to cast some kind of choking spell on Tony’s scarf, in case if they will break up one day. Be careful with a magic husband.

Both heads immediately turned after hearing the word _project,_ two different pairs of eyes, but both shining with the same maniac light. Tony and Stephen were motivated and ready to handle the situation. Together.

“Project about what?” Tony asked with excitement.

“Are you gonna need magical fireworks or a flying kangaroo?” added enthusiastic Strange, ready to help at all costs.

“Are you _fucking insane_ saying that you keep a goddamn flying kangaroo in _our_ house? Didn’t know you don’t love me anymore. Go and sleep with your kangaroo, he won’t eat your favourite cereals like I do and I was kinda surprised when you hadn’t criticized me for that in your wedding speech.” Tony was unexpectedly jealous of the kangaroo. (To be honest, not so unexpectedly, Stephen knew he’ll be.) “I can already see these headlines “CHEATING ON A BILLlONAIRE TONY STARK WITH A KANGAROO”. This is gonna set the whole world on fire, I swear, and I’m gonna watch you burn.” Tony crossed his arms and moved on another chair, everything just to be the furthest from his lover as it was possible.

Stephen felt that their relationship, straight from his dreams, is in danger, so he decided to act quick.

“Oh, darling, if I only knew you are into this kind of stuff, I’d react earlier. I actually can cast a few transmutation spells, but if you’re not THAT kinky, illusion’s also gonna work great.”

Tony wanted to respond with even more ‘only adult stuff’, but suddenly, he heard someone choking on water. _Peter_. _Oh well shit._

“I’M STILL HERE, GUYS. YOU’RE GROSS AS HELL, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.” their disgusted son moaned loudly (he wasn’t sure if they’re going to hear him). “Can’t you hold your backs for a second, just this one time?”

“Yeah, kiddo. Totally. You’re right. One hundred percent agree. This won’t happen again, we swear. Now tell us more about the project.” Tony did his _responsible adult_ face, trying to be serious. It’s Peter Parker who needs him, after all.

 _call me_ he whispered to Strange.

 _blow me_ Stephen said with **The Wink TM**

 _as you wish_ his husband responded with **The** **Stark Industries Iconic Smirk** TM

“You’re damn lucky I can pretend I haven’t seen that. And heard. And… just whatever, guys.” Peter was already exhausted and he has been home for, maybe, like 5 minutes. His dads even after 5 years of marriage were acting like two dumbasses madly in love. People have been saying it’s freaking cute, but not when you have to actually _live_ with them. “I have to build a working water turbine for physics and I’m not sure how am I supposed to handle this, so I was wondering if you could help me?”

“Oh, boy, I can build four whole hydroelectric power stations for you with these hands” Tony took Strange’s finger and pointed with it at his own hands “they don’t call me the best inventor of all time for no reason, you know”

“Technology is so overrated, don’t you wanna have a water turbine powered with magic? That would be _something_. I bet you’ll become a legend in your school.” Magic Dad interrupted them and shared some genius ideas.

“Slow down, Houdini, this project is for psychics, so you _have to_ use technology and he’s already a legend, because he’s ours” Science Dad fondly rubbed Peter’s hair.

“No one has to know I used magic and it’s gonna be so much faster than your useless inventions. Although you don’t seem to underestimate magic when you ask me to create a portal and teleport Peter straight to his school, because you two had been watching some stupid ass films all night long and-” Stephen said with a self-confidence, even if he felt a little bit like he was crossing the line. Worth mentioning, Tony didn’t have any patience. And Stephen didn’t have any lines.

“You don’t know nothing about me or my pure genius, or new technologies” Stark said, his voice was filled with cold rage (but there was also a hilarious undertone in it).

“Yeah, ‘cause we’ve only been married for 5 years.” Stephen laughed. His laugh somehow always reminded Tony of silver bells’ humming, even when he was pissed off because of his stupid ass husband. “And dude, who’s the best neurosurgeon in the world?”

“Better change that to “who was” and I’m gonna tell you who IS one of the smartest brains in the history, honey” Stark’s jokes might be kind of cruel, but if he knew this was going to upset Stephen, then he wouldn’t do that, never. Stephen was trying really hard to keep his poker face at the moment, but soon started giggling uncontrollably.

“Duude, our IQs match almost perfectly.”

“It’s not my fault that you’re still such an idiot” said sassy classy queen Stark with his playful smirk.

Luckily, upcoming insults were interrupted by a deep sigh.

“Ya know what? I’m gonna figure this out all by myself. Just like I did in the past, something about 7 times, right? I’m perfectly sure you remember when you were supposed to visit my school and talk about your jobs, how is it like to be so cool and a superhero and stuff. I’ve never been more surprised than when you two actually showed up. But of course no matter how good was the start, you had to end up having a big fight in front of all my classmates. Do you imagine how embarrassing that was, my parents arguing about whom suit looks hotter. By the way, girls in my class are all the way with the Iron Man suit and this is absolutely disgusting.” Little Peter was running out of breath, trying to say 1000 words per minute, his young heart feeling deeply offended (just like Stephen’s cloak, ‘cause man, little girls are cruel).

Tony and Stephen were used to laugh about their son, always thinking of other people, but sometimes too passionate and lost in his own world. Kiddo is more innocent than I was, when I had been in my mother’s womb, as Stark once said. To be honest, the couple had no idea how they managed to raise Peter that good, because of their own uncountable failures and imperfections. Tony and Stephen truly believed little Spider-Man is gonna be the best Avenger ever. After all, _he was their son_ , there was no other way.

But then the one and only Peter stood up, moved his chair away and walked out of the living room. Suddenly the place went quiet.

Strange and Stark were sitting on their chairs, both looking and feeling guilty. They knew they had fucked (each other countless times) this up. Their remorse still didn’t last longer than the amount of time Peter needed to get to his room.

 “It’s all your fault, only if you agreed to my idea, everything would be fine now!”

 

 

_“Ned, I need your help, please. Everyone thinks superheroes are cool, but for real they’re just super gross. My parents are just like that. They tell me all the time that I’m gonna be great and I’ll save lots of people. I hope poor kittens stuck on high trees too. BUT WHAT IF I’M GONNA BE GROSS LIKE THEM, NED?!”_


End file.
